Touray

Ok…I guess I’ll just say it…I am married to a muslim! I was raised Christian and I have Christian parents, friends, and peers. I was not drunk or vexed or any other thing when I said I do, which I did at a court house last month, literally on a whim and a prayer, and no I am not pregnate.

My mom was there, my sister, my brother, and my best friend, and some new friends as well. I was really nervous truthfully speaking about the whole thing. I wanted to marry him with all of my heart. He captured something in me almost immediately from the first long look. I loved our talks about God and our inabilities to achieve any standards. I love how he was convicted about little things. I love the way he explained why it’s good to take the next step and obstain from alcohol, which I did, yet he would loved me even if I didn’t. I decided to tell a wonderful lady that I was doing this like the day before and she let me have it. I knew she was right I mean how could I refute the Word. But I had already become one with him, before there even was a pastor, so I went through with it.

I’ve been married before and I was thinking hello here’s number 2. I was scared of what lay ahead. Would it would end the same, and had I really changed, and could I really be a good wife after being such a bad one? I was honest with him about me. I didn’t come flying in on a white horse and neither didn’t either. We both had our closets and kinks to still workout, and get out, but there we were bare for the whole world to see.

Yesterday, however, I forgot this beauty this choice I had made. We got caught up in a “foundation” turmoil like I knew we’d encounter sometimes. I was prepared for that. Yet there we were at a lost for words.

God led me to pray. In that time I was reminded me that I was free to love him and he me. I can’t explain every bit of why I love him. I know it would have been easier to marry a Christian man. That’s what should have been designed for me right? But honestly I glory in this. These differences we have keeps me going back to prayer and asking the Lord am I judging him? Have I shown him love today? What makes me think that I am always right? Have I honored him?  The greatest gift God has given me is love and I get to share it with him day after day. I don’t want to lose that. I get to carry him in my spirit. I get to pray, maybe more because we are different.

I am absolutely not perfect and I will never be in this world at least. But at the end of my life I want God to say, she loved me first and she loves Sherrif well.

Pray for us.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, October 11th, 2006 at 7:06 pm and is filed under Communion, Uncategorized, growth, people, prayer, touching. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.