Please Believe
What do you do when the dream is knocked right out of you?
I stand grinding my teeth into powder as I listen to my best friend lament on her lost dream.
 “He’s just a freaking man!� I tell her over and over again. “You can buy your own house, with your own fence, your own pool, you can buy kids too, honey you don’t need him! In today’s society men are all together unproductive!�
 (Just notes never ask my advice on relationships it’s bound to be horrific).
She laughs at me “Whatever Tamar.�
We both laugh and I take off my superwoman suit. The suit is useless but at least it looks nice sometimes. What else can I tell her? That’s her dream.
(Silly rabbit dreams are for kids)
I remember when mine melted away. I was 18 and had to go to college instead of seminary due to a lack of finical aid. That was my last disappointment. I never really dreamed about anything since then.
I used to be such a dreamer. My longtime friend reminded me last week.
“Tamar what about the community center?�
“I can’t believe you remember that.�
By the time I was 14 I had the center, the design, and curriculum mapped out. I used to walk around with balled up pieces of paper explaining the center/school (I’ve never been organized).
I believed that all classes would be free and there would be a waiting list. I even mapped out what would be done to accommodate waiting children. Amazing…I would tell this to anyone who wanted to listen. As much as I talk I probably told the entire DFW population. No one ever said it was impossible. No one…At 17 I took a trip, by the amazement of God, to Atlanta and decided that would be its best location.
Shortly after I had enough with disappointments and turned the dreamer off. As if God doesn’t have His own time. Even now my eyes are stinging from the rush of belief.
“Disappointment cuts me like a knife
But I won’t be afraid
Strange operations happen all around
The audience escapes unscathed
You are my fortress in this storm
I will cling to You
Like a sailor lost to the wind
It’s all about turns
Turn about face
It’s all about knowing
More of Your grace
I know now
You are my sure thing “ -Phil Joel, I Adore You, album Bring it On
 ÂÂ
July 5th, 2006 at 10:56 am
Keep dreaming. I look forward to hearing great things, whether it’s in Africa or the revival of a dream like this.
July 5th, 2006 at 12:31 pm
Hopefully both Parke…hope-full both
July 6th, 2006 at 10:13 am
I forgot to mention but the writing of this post reminded me very much of The God of Small Things. I like it.
July 6th, 2006 at 1:53 pm
Have a look at “Journey of desire” by John Eldredge. This is a beautiful description of lost and recovered dreams. andrew
July 6th, 2006 at 10:40 pm
Hey Tamar I was reading Tales by the Fire and saw thats it’s your birthday today! Happy Birthday girl!!!
We are so blessed to know you as a friend and a co-partner in Kingdom Building. I can’t begin to share (at least online) how valuable you are to our faith community. Thank you for sharing life with us and leading us the ways you do.
I pray the next year of your life finds you smack dab in the middle of God’s love and grace! We (Lanette and I) are glad to play a small part in this exciting adventure of living with you!!!
July 23rd, 2006 at 7:19 am
canada doctor in natural therapy…
Wow that’s a nice post ….
November 21st, 2006 at 4:25 am
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