Touray

While driving on the freeway, I noticed a bird flying high above my windsheild. I noticed that it flowed freely in the wind. I thought about an artist. I imagined how an artist could take this same bird and sketch it out just as I see it. A good artist could paint in the colors and explain my experience completely. Yet this artist could only suspend it in the air. The artist could not make it move. If the sketch were given over to an engineer and the engineer take the same drawing and make it become mobile through some type of machinary, the engineer could not make it breathe. Let’s say a better engineer simulated the breathing and made it run on solar and lunar energy and bird could always flutter about mimicking the real thing, at the end of the day, it could not make this object recreate. Not to mention everything that is made came from somthing God already made.

I realized that nothing is mine to give or to take away. It’s all the Lord’s and He is sovern in His administration.

Sam has a purpose, April has a function. Frankie’s a representative, and Ms. Weatherbe is a reflection. My fictional charaters are forming a jell. Today I was told my idea would be a good Life Time flick…Is that a good thing? I don’t know.

No melodrama, please.

aaahhhh I need to explain myself. I will make the three part series regarding the same issues in different locations.  Maybe then my point will be made.

Imagination:

The air glides along the side of my face
I spread my arms and then my hands
Tilt my head back and sore
Flying

He’s carrying me today. I’m so in love…

(Thank you Jesus)

Wonder unzipped the seams. A hand pressed to a soft interior. Jelly like and moist. A perfect environment to soil and fester. So it did, until magets grews from the unknown, fill up the inside. A few broke loose and took flight. The public noticed, and so did He.

So He took she to a quiet place and ask could He have, could He whole. They danced and He zipped her away.

Ponder crepted in after He openned the door. She looked at He. He said it’s ok. Ponder got dangerously close. He slipped his hand underneath the hem. To find a solid rock. She beat her chest amazed and laughed ponder away.

Gender issues many issues.

I woke up yesterday a feminist. I listen to my mind. I recounted interrupted messages thrown across my windsheild. I realized there was a theme.

She, She, She, and then me.

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Maybe I am the last to know. I am the last to know that some humans desire much more than necessity. I am the last to know that their greed is like an addiction that forces them to lie and wait. This greed causes distort of logic, oracle, and law. This greed is punitive. This greed is sectarian. This is the father of death. This greed is the only road some choose to travel on. This greed is the reason why this world will end.

I rest in Emmanuel having His Way.

Listen to reason! The Most High Says: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

I read in strong voice.
There is a message this world has tried to tell, we will, we will prevail!

I saw it in the face of “Pearl” today.
She sat in good disposition. She was resolved and her heart vindicated.
Her look said…yeah my father fucked me, and my husband tried to fuck my child
When I learned of it I brought him to drink sweat water, while you locked him in a place of no denial.

My heart leaped at her resolve to say Never Again!
She meant that, and so did I.
Our eyes did a mystical high five!

She walked away with her two daughters. Her heart silently chanting we will survive.
She leading them head high to a place of therapy, willing, hands open, a painful smile.

I marvel at the strength of the unprotected child, all grown up. A warrior.

Quick, sand! Quicksand…

fragments of what use to be the goal lay around the body of water, it forms on an oasis of momentary peace, laying hard backed up against a loose foundation, safe to sink in the seams.

Two eyes look on to easy to remove foundation. Prepares for the mess sand makes in the passanger side driving away. It can be washed, all can be washed away.

Quicksand!

Solid mass of fragments engulfed in water, form an illusion of long term peace, laying around a environment unknown, resting softly back on a makeshift home, unable to loose self from the seams.

Two eyes look out from unexscapable scene. Grasping, none can be further, further away.

Mirrors have functional purposes. They allow you to see yourself as you are. In my case that is a good, bad, and incomplete thing.

I never saw myself as old fashioned or stuck in my ways. I thought I’m opened minded. I’m the new wave. I’m progressive!

Really I am ineffecient because I rely too much on myself. I admire people for their ability to get things done quickly. I felt as if it were a gift from God. Right along with prophet’s, teacher, evangalist, would fit Multi-Taskers. What I’m learning is that depenency is the way.

As humans we were not satisfied with our abilities to record so then stone, paper, screen, who knows…I need to jump on board.

Today I found that dictation is the key to solve all my deliquent problems! Thank you Lord for such a small peace.

Often situations you want to run away from are opportunities for the Lord to improve his creation.

I open to this today…
(Glory to the Lord Jesus Christ, Was, and Is, and Is to Come)

Dimmness and the smell of sweet pea can recreate an office. I wish I were alone. If I were alone I could pretend that what I have to collect, investigate, and document were little stories broken lose in my mind. When you are a writter it’s okay to talk about the insane.

Pause…

Yesterday I attended mass with a friend. I enjoyed it.

It’s the end of the day and I feel like I accomplished nothing. Today was one of those days when you wonder how you can be so effective-less at something so important.

I will try again tomorrow.

Sam is new to me. She’s fictional, rather she supposed to be. Honestly Sam is quiet old. She’s older and the same age as me. She can’t sleep. I wrote that down because that’s her situation at the moment. However somehow this situation resembles me. I know why she can’t sleep but what about me?

I pray for it to come to me. I pray that sleep will wrap me in it’s arms and drift me down a quiet sea. I pray, I pray, I pray for me.

I guess Sam is the one who really needs the sleep. So tonight I pray for Sam.

God give Sam the ability to sleep,
Help her mind grow still,
Allow her to rest,
She has a long day tomorrow,
You see now, What tomorrow’s woe she has to face,
Make the pain in her fingers stop,
Make her flash backs go away,
Help her to believe she won’t always be this way,
Tell her you Love her Lord,
Tell her death will not satisfy,
Tell her to let You in,
Tell her You heard her begging for help,
Please, save Sam, give her sleep.